As adult children, we often operate in "fix-it" mode. We see our parents struggling, so we immediately jump into action to solve the problem. We research local Windsor-Essex care agencies, look at budgets, and create a schedule.
Then, we go to our parents and say, "I hired someone to come on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 9 to 1."
And they say, "Absolutely not."
Why? Because nobody likes being told what to do in their own home. When you make all the decisions without their input, they feel like they are being treated like a child. The fastest way to reduce resistance to home care is to empower your parent by giving them choices.
The Illusion (and Reality) of Control
Seniors lose a lot of control as they age. They may lose the ability to drive, to work, or to move without pain. Retaining control over who comes into their house is deeply important to them.
How to involve them in the process:
- Give them a choice of days: "Dad, we've agreed someone is coming twice a week to help with meals. Would you prefer they come on Mondays and Wednesdays, or Tuesdays and Thursdays?"
- Let them choose the traits: "Mom, if we hire a companion, would you prefer someone quiet who likes to read, or someone chatty who will play cards with you?"
- Involve them in the interview: Let them meet the care coordinator and be the one asking the questions.
By offering choices—even if the ultimate outcome of hiring help is non-negotiable—you are honoring their autonomy and intelligence.
A Collaborative Approach to Care
At Amy's Helping Hands, we don't just work for the adult children; we work for the seniors. During our in-home assessments, we speak directly to your parents, asking them about their preferences, their routines, and their boundaries.
We want them to feel completely comfortable and in control of their care plan. Whenever your parents are ready to sit down and tell us exactly how they want things done, we are available to listen. Reach out via our Start Care Now form to schedule a collaborative family meeting today.
